Sunday, November 23, 2014

The interrogation of Zackery


Thought it might be fun to see what would happen if I interviewed a character from a teenager’s first novel. So I did. Caoilfhionn is 15 and writing a fantasy - Zackery is one of her main characters. I think he’s some kind of wolf type creature from another planet. To be honest, I have no real clue. Could be anything from anywhere. Ready? Good!  
Caoilfhionn (on the right) with her little sister.


Kia ora,

Please welcome our latest victim guest, Zackery. On the metal plate suspended above that puddle by wires is a chocolate fish. Behave and the delicious pink marshmallow fish covered in chocolate won’t end up a goopy mess on the floor.
In the event of an earthquake/zombie plague/or random occupation -you’ll find emergency procedures taped to the bottom of your seat. Yes, like a floatation device. You’ll also find a Glock 17 with a full magazine.
Remember you cannot reason with zombies and it’s a head shot every time.

What’s your favourite type of takeaway?
Pizza, it’s the only one that doesn’t make me feel sick.

Describe your current mental status?
Well,  according to Fletcher and Emory... I have issues.

I know how I do what I do … but how do you do what you do?
What are you on about? Are you sick?

Do you have a favourite coffee or tea?
I’m not allowed to have either of those things ... because of my genetic composition neither of those things agree with me.

Walk us through a typical day.
Well ... It depends on the day, is it the weekend or something terrible like Wednesday?

Who are your favourite writers?
...W-what’s a writer?
  -They write books Zack..
Oh.. I can’t read..

Who inspires you to do better?
Scorpio and Lauren, Scorpio has been my friend since ... I was ... five. Yeah, five. And Lauren was my first human friend, she’s really nice.

Do you ever put pants on your dog, cat, or budgie?
… I’ve changed my mind again, I want to go home ... These creatures are too weird ...

Describe your perfect day.
Sitting at home with Scorpio, then getting into a really big spar/fight!
Or even stealing Fletcher’s stuff then running through town in my ‘true’ form, either way is fun!

Do you have any quirks?
Well, when I came here the portal messed up my human form’s genetic structure a little so now I constantly have my canine ears and tail. I’ve also been told that I’m way too childish, sometimes, to be nineteen. Pfft.

All-time favourite movie and why?
...What was that movie called with the guy and the horse? You know the one with the stick? I liked that one.. It’s the only movie I’ve seen..

Think he’s talking about A Knight’s Tale – Cat.

If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?
Right here, I know some people here and I guess I don’t want to be taken to the zoo again.. Or area 51.

What is one thing you know about New Zealand?
They have lots of fluffy food!
  -They’re  called sheep..
Right, fluffy food!

Favourite pizza topping?
Anything meat, and edible.

What is the most random thing you have ever done?
I stole a rabbit from the pet shop, it was really fluffy.
Then I ate it. It wasn’t very fluffy after that.

If you’re not working, what are you most likely doing?
I don’t have a job. But I’m usually annoying Fletcher, chasing Emory up trees or visiting Lauren while she’s at school. Oh and running away from Jensen.

Whiskey or Bourbon? Red or White wine?
I like the first two, but I think rum tastes better. Wine isn’t very nice.

Have you ever been to New Zealand? And if not, why not?
Yes! I got chased and shot at by a farmer for chasing his fluffy food!
  -He means sheep..

What’s in your pockets?
Uhm.. A lighter, cigarette- Wait ... Why do you wanna know?

Laptop, PC, tablet?
… Fletcher said I can’t have any of those because I broke his laptop.

Ebook or tree book?
I thought we've established that I can’t read.

Favourite apocalyptic scenario?
..What’s an apocalyptic scenario?
  -facepalm- Zack, it’s like what happened to Avalon Original.
What?! That’s not cool, why would you ask someone that?!

You made it!! Damn, you rock. Now would you like to try for the chocolate fish or would you prefer something fluffy like this pretty white bunny? Yeah thought so. Mind the puddles … but hurry. Power surges are common in the dungeon; you don’t want to have one hand on the metal plate containing that delicious bunny and a foot in a puddle…

That laughter you hear is coming from The Knight, he probably won’t flip that switch he has his hand on.

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